Rum Tum Tugger Supercat: Act 1
by DemeterAKADemi
Summary: A crossover between CATS & Jesus Christ Superstar.


Demeter: "Etcetera? Etcetera!", *Demeter runs across the junkyard with a 13ft tall 7ft wide script in her mouth*  
  
Ecty: "Wowwy Dem! Could you teach me to speak with a giant book in my mouth too?"  
  
Demeter: "Shut up Etcetera! I need you to be our narrator."  
  
Ecty: *Looks at Demeter stupidly* "Um, what's a narrator?"  
  
Demeter: *smacks her paw against her forehead* "It's you, now shut up and read what's in the stupid manuscript!"  
  
Ecty: "What's a manu . . ."  
  
Demeter: "SHUT UP ECTY!"  
  
Ecty: "Sorry!" *Watches as Demeter stomps off stage* "Grouchy 'ol . . ."  
  
Demeter: "READ!"  
  
Ecty: "ALL RIGHT!" *begins to read* "Our story begins in the hot deserts of Jerus . . . Demmie! We're not in a desert!"   
  
Demeter: "Not yet, but we will be soon!" *shouts at the Jellicles to get on a bus with a bunch of stuff on top of it, and they drive to Jerusalem, were there is a VERY good looking set out*   
  
Bombalurina: "WOW! Dem, where did you get the money to buy a set like this?"  
  
Demeter: *glances over at Macavity who winks. Demeter grins* "Lets just say I had some help from a friend! Now places everyone!" *somehow all the Jellicles had managed to get into their costumes and scattered to their places*  
  
Bombalurina: *glances down at her costume, and looks around at the other Jellicles costume* "Um, Demmie, who's in charge of costume design? These costume are so 6o's!"  
  
Jennyanydots: *doing a disco dance* "These are swinging costumes Dem dear! Woo Who!   
  
Bombalurina: *rolls her eyes* "Whatever!"   
  
Ecty: "The Jellicles gather around . . .TUGGER? Ohmigosh . . . Dem you can't mean . . and I can't even be Mary!?!?"  
  
Demeter: *walks up a cliff, and sits down at the highest point* "SHUT UP AND READ ECTY!"  
  
Ecty: "Um . . . the Jellicles gather around TUGGER and start doing a funny little chicken dance . . ." *giggles as the Jellicles start doing the chicken dance*, and then we join Miss Grouch at the top of the hill!"  
  
Demeter: *mumbles* "Remind me NEVER to ask Ecty to be the narrator again!" *Starts singing* "My mind is clearer now . . ."  
  
Tugger: "You don't say! I'm amazed . . ."  
  
Demeter: "At last all too well I can see where we all soon will be. If you strip away the myth from the tom, you will see where we all soon will be. TUGGER! You've started to believe the things queen say are true! You really do believe that you are really cute!!!"   
  
Tugger: *jaw drops* "That is NOT in the script!"  
  
Demeter: "And all the good you've done will soon get swept away! You've begun to matter more than the things you say! Listen Tugger I don't like what I see!"  
  
Tugger: "What's wrong with the way I look?"  
  
Demeter: *ignores him* "You are really very ugly! Um . . . oppes!"  
  
Tugger: *starts yelling at Demeter*   
  
Demeter: "Um maybe we should move on to the, er, next song . . . YEAH!" *watches as the toms drag a furious Tugger down to the cave for the next scene*   
  
Toms A.K.A. the 12 apostles: "What's the buzz? Tell me what's happening! "What's the buzz? Tell me what's happening! "What's the buzz? Tell me what's happening! "What's the buzz? Tell me what's happening!"  
  
Tugger: *Has cooled off a little, but is still pissed* "Why should you want to know?" *stands up and flings his arms backwards, slamming his paws into Mistoffelees who is playing Peter, and into Munkustrap who is playing Simon*   
  
Misto & Munkustrap: *fall onto their butts* "REOW!"   
  
Tugger: "Why are u obsessed with fighting?"  
  
Misto: *rubbing his bum* "I think Munkustrap & I should be asking that!"  
  
Demeter: *hisses* "Shut up!"  
  
Tugger: "Times & fates you can't defy. If you knew the path we're riding you'd understand it less than I would!"  
  
Macavity: *comes running into the room* "Sorry I'm late! Hi Demmie baby!" *scopes up Demeter and kisses her long enough to keep the rest of the Jellicles looking at the clock*  
  
Tumble: "I believe that was a record! 7 ½ mins!"  
  
Demeter&Macavity: *both turn and grin at Tumble*  
  
Macavity: "We can make it longer . . ."  
  
Jellicles: "NO!"  
  
Macavity: "I was just kidding!"  
  
Demeter: *giggles*  
  
Tugger: *throws an impatient glance at the two* "Can we continue please?"  
  
Demeter: "Of corse . . . hair ball!"  
  
Jellicle Toms: *sing while trying to hold down the once more furious Tugger* "What's the buzz? Tell me what's happening! What's the buzz? Tell me what's happening! What's the buzz? Tell me what's happening! What's the buzz? Tell me what's happening!   
  
Tugger: *glaring daggers at Demeter* "Why should you want to know? Don't you mind about the future. Don't you try to think a-head. Save tomorrow for tomorrow. Think about to day instead."  
  
Toms: *start to shove and push each other* "What's the buzz? Tell me what's happening! What's the buzz? Tell me what's happening! What's the buzz? Tell me what's happening! What's the buzz? Tell me what's happening! When do we ride into Jerusalem? When do we ride into Jerusalem? When do we ride into Jerusalem? When do we ride into Jerusalem?"  
  
Bombalurina:*sings in a sexy voice* "Let me try to cool own your face a bit. Let me try to cool down your face a bit. Let me try to cool down your face a bit. Let me try to cool down your face a bit. Let me try to cool down your face a bit. Let me try to cool down your face a bit. Let me try to cool down your face a bit. Let me try to cool down your face a bit." *trips over Tumblebrutus and falls, causing the water that was in the basin she was carrying to spill all over Tugger* "Oppes . . ."  
  
Tugger: "THAT'S IT! I . . ."   
  
Demeter: *shouts from her spot out side the cave* "SHUT UP TUGGER! We haven't even gotten to my line! NOW SING!"  
  
Tugger: *shuts up and sings* "Bomby mm that is good. Um . . ." *forgets his line*   
  
Demeter: "Oi!"  
  
Tugger: "Where, and when and who and how. She alone has tried to give me, what I need right here and now." *walks over to the wine storage*  
  
Jellicle Toms: "What's the buzz? Tell me what's happening! What's the buzz? Tell me what's happening! What's the buzz? Tell me what's happening! What's the buzz? Tell me what's happening!"  
  
Demeter: *enters the cave, and looks around. She puts her hands on her hips, and shakes her head in disgust* "It seems to me a strange thing, mystifying! That a tom like you, can waste his time, with queens of her kind!" *points at Bomby*   
  
Tugger: *hiccups, and puts an arm around Demeter* "Would you purrfur I go around with queens like you?" *falls over drunk*   
  
Demeter: *shakes her head in disgust* "It's not that I object to her profession . . ." *mumbles* "I don't think any of the toms mind either . . . But she doesn't fit in well with what you teach and say. It doesn't help us if you're inconsistent! They only need one small excuse to put us all away!"  
  
Tugger: *giggles* When do we get to go to the circus mummy? I wanna go now! *falls over*   
  
Demeter: *looks at the audience* "You do know where this is leading right? Tugger my dear, will go to the circus, and see lions, and tigers, and . . . *drops a scorpion down his robes* bears. Oh my!   
  
Tugger: *jumps up and starts to run around squealing like a little girl* "GET IT OFF ME GET IT . . ." * runs into a poll * "Hehe." *is unconscious*   
  
Demeter: *gives a lazy smile* "Did I do that? Now lets get on with it! Bomba! Your on!"  
  
Bombalurina: "Yeah . . . right. Er, um . . . Try not to get worried try not to hold onto problems that upset you oh, don't you know every things all right yes every things fine. And we want you to sleep well tonight. Let the world turn with out you tonight."  
  
Jemima: *dreamily* "I don't think that's even nearly possible!"  
  
Cassandra: *knocks Jem over the head with a frying pan*   
  
Demeter: "Thank you."  
  
Cass: *nods*  
  
Demeter: "Continue."  
  
Bomba: "Close your eyes close your eyes and forget all about us tonight. Sleep and I shall sooth you clam you and anoint . . ."  
  
Coricopat: "WOW! I GET TO BE THE BAD GUY! Cool!"  
  
Bombalurina: *hisses* "I'm gonna kill you Cori!"  
  
Demeter: "Ah, right then." *sings her part before Bomba can kill Cori* "Queen your fine ointment brand new and expensive, should have been saved for the poor! Why has it been wasted, we could have raise maybe three hundred silver pieces or more! People who are hungry, people who are starving matter more than your feet and hands!"  
  
Bomba: *throws water on Tugger* "Try not to get worried. Try not to turn on to problems that upset you, oh, don't you know every things all right, yes every thing all right yes.   
  
Tugger: "Huh? Oh! Surely your not saying we have the resources to save the poor from their luck! There will be poor always, pathetically struggling, look at the good things you've got! *links hands with Demeter* "Think why you still have me, move while you still see me, you'll be lost, and you'll be sorry, when I'm gone!"  
  
Demeter: "Um, not really. Bomba, don't sing the next part! We have a deadline, on to the next scene!"  
Ecty: "We join our High Priest Alonzo, and his EVIL assistant, Coricopat!"  
  
Tantomile: "But Cori! I thought you and I decided to join up with Pinky and The Brain, and try to take over the world!"  
  
Cori: "Later sis! I get to be the bad guy!"  
  
Tano: "Fine then!"  
  
Tumblebrutus: "Good Caiaphas, the council waits for you. The Pharisees, and priests are here for you."  
  
Alonzo: "Ah gentle toms, you know why we are here. We've not much time, and quiet a problem here."  
  
Mungo: *looks up* "Damn strait! You tell me how to beat Misto at Staratigo, and I'll give back every thing I've stolen!"  
  
Demeter: "Oi!"  
  
Cori: "Listen to that howling mob of block heads in the street! A trick or two with lepers, and the whole towns on their feet!"  
  
Tom Choir: "He is dangerous!"  
  
Alonzo: "Er, now what?"  
  
Tumble: "I have no idea. Um, look Caiazo! He's right out side our yard. Quick go call the roman guard.   
  
Alonzo: "No wait . . . what happens now?"  
  
Demeter: *jumps up and swings Alonzo around* "What then to do about Tugger of Nazareth? Wonder man, hero of fools!"  
  
Tumble: "No army, no something, no fighting, no slogans."  
  
Alonzo: "One thing I'll say for him Tugger is cool!"  
  
Tugger: "Damn strait!"  
  
Jenny: "Tugger!"  
  
Demeter: "All right! This song is a complete disaster! Moving on. And we're skipping that stupid Hosanna song! So we're at . . . um, Power & Glory song! Hit it!"  
  
Etcetera: "All the Jellicles, er, followers begin to dance, cept Judith, or Demi!  
  
Jellicles: "Tugger you know I love you! Did you see my way? I believe in you and Everlasting Cat so tell me that I'm saved. Tugger you know I love you! Did you see my way? I believe in you and Everlasting Cat so tell me that I'm saved. Tugger I am with you. Touch me touch me Tugger."  
  
Tugger: "Now I can deal with the love, but I am NOT touching any one of you! I'm to good for any of . . . REOW!" *falls into the mud and is stepped on by dancing Jellicles*   
  
Jellicles: "Tugger I am on your side. Kiss me kiss me Tugger."  
  
Munku: "Tugger what more do you need to convince you, that you've made it and are easily as strong. As the filth from Rome who rape are country. And who've terrorized our tribe for so long!"  
  
Tugger: "Well, it would help if you GOT OFF ME!"  
  
Munku: *steps of Tugger's back* "Sorry Tugger."  
  
Victoria: "Um, who is Rome?"  
  
Demeter: "Oi! Misto, get your sister dancing again!"  
  
Misto: *smiles evilly* "My pleasure!" *keeps on throwing lightning at Vic's feet so she is jumpin up and down, trying to keep from getting hit*   
  
Victoria: *whining* "DEMI! MAKE HIM STOP!"  
  
Demeter: *yawns with boredom and waves for the Jellicles to continue*  
  
Jellicles: "Tugger you know I love you! Did you see my way? I believe in you and Everlasting Cat so tell me that I'm saved. Tugger you know I love you! Did you see my way? I believe in you and Everlasting Cat so tell me that I'm saved. Tugger I am with you. Touch me touch me Tugger. Tugger I am on your side. Kiss me kiss me Tugger."  
  
Munku: *jumps on Tugger's back* "There must be over fifty thousand, screaming love and more for you!"  
  
Tugger: "Um, Munku. Small question. WHAT IN THE HECK ARE YOU DOING ON MY FRIGGIN BACK?!?!"  
  
Munku: "And everyone of fifty thousand would do whatever you asked him to. Keep them yelling their devotion."  
  
Tugger: *fluffs his main* "NO problem there."  
  
Munku: *rolls his eyes, and jumps off Tugger's back* "But add a touch of hate at Rome. You will rise to a greater power. We will win ourselves a home."  
  
Tugger: *lays down, and puts his head in Demeter's lap* "Now I like this power idea Demi baby, but we already have a home."  
  
Demeter: "Tugger, either get your fat ugly head out of my lap, or I'll . . ."  
  
Tugger: *stands up very quickly*   
  
Munku: "You'll get the power and the glory. Forever and ever and ever. You'll get the power and the glory. Forever and ever and ever. You'll get the power. You'll get the glory!  
  
You'll get the power. You'll get the glory! You'll get the power. You'll get the glory! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *starts jumping around and acting like a monkey*   
  
Demeter: "Um . . . riiiiiiiight. . ."   
  
Munku: "Aaaaaaaaaaaa . ."  
  
Jellicles: "Men!"  
  
Tugger: *stands up* "Neither you Munku, or the fifty thousand. Nor the Romans, nor the Jellicles. Nor Judith, nor the twelve nor the priest nor the scribes, nor doomed Jerusalem itself. Understand what power is. Understand what glory is. Understand at all. Understand at all."  
  
Demeter: *whispers in Mac's ear* "What I do understand is that Tugger is the dumbo of the tribe."  
  
Mac: *laughs*  
  
Tugger: "If you knew all that I knew, my poor Jerusalem. You'd see the truth, but you'd close your eyes. But you'd close your eyes. While you live your troubles are many, poor Jerusalem. To concur death you only have to die. You only have to die."  
  
Demeter: "Lovely! Now on to the next song!"  
  
Jellicles: *groan*   
  
Cori: "When do we get are break? I have to re-beautify myself! I AM the star of this show you know!"  
  
Demeter: *sighs and rubs her forehead* "Someone please, PLEASE mail him to Cuba!"  
  
Jellicles: *shove Cori in a big wooden box that says Cuba on the side, then put it in the mail box*   
  
Demeter: "Thanks!"  
  
Pounci: "Hey Demi, can we skip this next song? It's too long!"  
  
Demeter: "Yeah sure. Why not?"  
  
Jellicles: *cheer*  
  
Demeter: "That means, Bomba girlfriend, your on!"  
  
Bomba: *sits down next to Tugger who is sleeping in a tent, and starts singing* "I don't know how to . . . NOOOO! Not happening! Find someone else to sing this song!"  
  
Demeter: *sighs* Alright . . . um . . . *all the queens step forward* How bout . . . Bustopher Jones!   
  
Busto: *comes out looking like a Viking women*  
  
Demeter: "Oh wow! Alright. Busto your on!"  
  
Busto: "I don't know how to love him.What to do how to move him."  
  
Skimble: *rolls his eyes* "Try picking him up!"  
  
Busto: "I've been losing weight! Yes really losing weight. In these past few years when I've seen my self, I seem like Free Willy. I don't know how to take this. I don't see why he moves me."  
  
Tanto: "I don't see how he could move you either. You weigh too much to move."  
  
Busto: "He's a tom. He's just a tom. And I've had so many toms before. In very many ways, he's just one more."  
  
Bomba: *jaw drops* "That's something I didn't need to know!"  
  
Busto: *stands up and starts walking near a lake* "Should I bring him down? Should I scream and shout? Should I speak of love and let my feelings out? I never thought I'd come to this . . . *falls into the lake which is about to one inch deep* "HELP! HELP! I'm drowning!"  
  
Demeter: *leans down* "Um, Busto . . ."  
  
Busto: "I CAN'T SWIM!"  
  
Demeter: "Oi!" *helps him up* "Moving on! Wait a sec. . . IT IS! MY TURN! AND IF ANYONE SPEAKS DURING THIS SONG, YOU'LL BE POLLICLE CHOW!"  
  
Jellicles: *shut up*  
  
Demeter: "Now if I help you, it matters that you see.These sordid kinda things are coming hard to me. It's taken me some time to work out what to do. I weighed the whole thing out before I came to you. I had no thought of my own reward. I really didn't come here of my own accord. Just don't say I'm damned for all time.  
  
I came because I had to; I'm the one who saw. Tugger can't control me like he did before.   
And furthermore I know that Tugger thinks so too. Tugger wouldn't mind that I was here with you. I had no thought at all about my own reward. I really didn't come here of my own accord. Just don't say I'm damned for all time.  
  
Annas, you're a friend, a worldly man and wise. Caiaphas, my friend, I know you sympathize.  
Why are we the prophets? Why are we the ones Who see the sad solution - know what must be done? I had no thought at all about my own reward. I really didn't come here of my own accord. Just don't say I'm damned for all time."  
  
Cori: *walks into the set* "I'm back! Did u miss me?"  
  
Demeter: "I knew we should have sent the stupid thing first class! Just sing your part! K?"  
  
Cori: "Cut the protesting, forget the excuses. We want information. Get up off the floor."  
  
  
Alonzo: "We have the papers we need to arrest him. You know his movements. We know the law."  
  
Cori: "Your help in the matter won't go unrewarded."  
  
Alonzo: "We'll pay you in silver, cash on the nail. We just need to know where the soldiers can find him..."  
  
Cori: "With no crowd around him...."  
  
Alonzo: "Then we can't fail."  
  
Demeter: "I don't need your blood money!"  
  
Alonzo: "Oh, that doesn't matter, our expenses are good."  
  
Demeter: "I don't want your blood money!"  
  
Cori: "But you might as well take it. We think that you should." *holds up a bag of catnip*  
  
Alonzo: " Think of the things you could do with that money, Choose any charity - give to the poor. We've noted your motives. We've noted your feelings.This isn't blood money - it's a ..."  
  
Cori: "a fee......"  
  
Alonzo: "A fee nothing more."  
  
Demeter: *goes after the catnip* "On Thursday night you'll find him where you want him:  
Far from the crowd, in the Garden of Gethsemane."  
  
Queens: "Well done Judith. Good old Judith."  
  
Demeter: "Guys, you'll never believe it . . . WE FINISHED ACT ONE! GRAB THE CAT NIP AND LETS GO ON BREAK!"  
  
Jellicles: *cheer and walk off the set*   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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